you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
