Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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