Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I would fuck him just for his dog
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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