We're like a lot better than the average bears
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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