Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
