remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize