I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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