I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
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I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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