batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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