Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
babies were throwing up all over the place
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
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I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
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Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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