so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize