Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
