yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
