it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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