Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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