I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
