i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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