I need to stop coming to work sober
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
