Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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