I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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