I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
