party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
