Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
