I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
