I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
