i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize