yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
True college students do jello shots in the library
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize