you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well I just put wine in my tea
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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