am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
