Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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