you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
