there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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