i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
