he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
