I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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