I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
All I want is dick and wine.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize