It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
