You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
