im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
