Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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