At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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