So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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