I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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