I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
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We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
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had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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