any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
