Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
