don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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