Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
