woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
