I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
