meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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