You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
