Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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