i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We just shotgunned beers for America
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
