How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize