Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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