Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize