Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend