he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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